At 22, I felt incredibly fortunate to have landed a job in a fast-paced, growing company filled with fun and energetic people. It was the quintessential “work hard, play hard” environment.
Being the first one to the office was a competition, and staying the latest was a badge of honor. We thrived on the thrill of commission-based work, where winning was more than just rewarding—it was exhilarating.
But when I turned 23, that excitement started to wane. I hit a ceiling. Everyone around me was getting promoted from recruiter to sales manager in just a few months. Even six months felt like a long wait. But for me? I kept getting passed over, almost for a full year.
The reason? I was told I was “too nice.”
In a sea of men (or rather, boys) who loved to argue and get loud, my style of leadership—one that wasn’t rooted in aggressive confrontation—didn’t seem to fit their mold. They couldn’t envision me leading because I wasn’t like them in the “my way or the highway” sense.
Internally, I was fuming. I liked being nice. It was a core value I grew up with, and I couldn’t understand what was so wrong with it. So, I decided to reframe my style and show that being nice didn’t mean being weak.
I learned to be observant and pinpoint areas where others could improve. I became very direct with my feedback, but still maintained kindness. This shift wasn’t just about changing others’ perceptions of me but about owning my strengths and leading with what I now call the Courage to Be Direct.
3 Tips to Leverage Your “Nice” Strength and Create a Lasting Impact
Being nice isn’t a weakness; it’s a powerful tool that can change workplace culture and leave a legacy of effective leadership. Here are three tips on how to make your niceness work for you:
1. Cultivate the Courage to Speak Up
It takes surprising bravery to point out ways organizations can improve, especially when your feedback might not be well-received. But this is where your niceness can shine. Approach these conversations with empathy and a genuine desire to help the team grow. Giving honest feedback with kindness opens the door for reflection and new ideas, enhancing the organization’s learning cycle.
2. Hold Peers Accountable with Empathy
Accountability doesn’t have to be harsh. In fact, teams that hold each other accountable in a supportive way are more likely to improve and increase both individual and group effectiveness. Use your “nice” approach to create an environment where everyone feels comfortable owning their mistakes and working together to find solutions. This strengthens the team and encourages a culture of continuous learning and improvement.
3. Champion Bold Changes with a Positive Attitude
Taking on stretch assignments or pushing for bold process changes requires courage, especially when you’re known as the “nice” one. However, your positive attitude and supportive nature can make it easier for others to get on board with these changes. People are more likely to embrace new ideas from someone they trust and who genuinely has their best interests at heart. Use your niceness to inspire and lead by example, showing that bold doesn’t have to mean abrasive.
Go Ahead, Embrace Your Niceness!
Don’t let anyone tell you that being nice is a disadvantage. In leadership, it’s one of the most powerful tools you have. You can create a workplace culture that values growth, learning, and collaboration through candid conversations that hold others accountable with empathy, and championing change with a positive attitude. Nice isn’t weak—it’s the strength that can drive meaningful, lasting change.
Eli Manning Poem:
I'm Eli Manning
I'm nice
Tom Brady's the G.O.A.T.
Psych! I beat him twice!
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Marcy Stoudt is a seasoned sales leader dedicated to shaping the future of talent acquisition and executive coaching. As the founder of Revel Search and Revel Coach, Marcy collaborates with corporate clients to develop innovative strategies for attracting, advancing, and retaining top-tier talent.
During her 22 years at Allegis Group, Marcy was TEKsystems's first female Vice President. She led a team of 300 producers and delivered four consecutive years of revenue results at 18% CAGR, averaging $320 million annually. While at MarketSource, she established the Customer Experience Strategy for the Target Mobile outsourced sales team at 1,540 Target locations, fostering executive-level relationships with Target and Apple.
The Revel Coach™ Blog is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not mental health, financial, business or legal advice. The information presented here is not intended to diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any medical, mental or emotional condition. The information presented here is not a guarantee that you will obtain any results or earn any money using our content.